There are a million and one things that I’m scared of;
Are among them.
But being lonely tops the list.
I can handle alone.
Alone is when you’re by yourself
With nobody else around.
Lonely is when you’re in a crowd of people
And still feel like you’re by yourself.
This scares me because I know what it’s like
I’ve stood in a room of a hundred people
And felt like the room was empty,
Or that I didn’t exist,
Because people look through me like Sellotape.
But fear totals more than just being.
Being lonely isn’t a momentary thing,
It takes over my mind and predicts my future.
Being lonely means I’ll never have somebody
To hold my hand during a movie.
I’ll never have somebody to care for me
When I get sick.
I’ll never feel the warmth of somebody else’s body
Next to me when I sleep.
I’ll never know what it’s like
To be considered beautiful.
But, unlike spiders
I have to face my loneliness
With every good
Comes bad and
When I see a couple together shopping,
When a friend gets married,
Or has a baby,
Or mentions their partner,
This is a death knell in my head
Signalling another nail entering my coffin
That keeps me forever alone.
So this poem was a little bit too long to put onto a nice picture/graphic and so I’ve had to just post it on here in text form.
The Trouble With Millennials
My grandmother once asked if I think I’m too good to clean toilets.
The answer, in short, is yes.
But that didn’t stop me applying
And being turned down because I was overqualified.
I think I’m too good because,
Ever since I was a child,
I have been told to do what makes me happy.
Cleaning does not.
I have been told I can do whatever I put my mind to,
I can be whoever I want to be.
I don’t want to be a cleaner.
I get accused of devaluing the work blue-collar Joes
And thinking I’m too good for it.
But it’s just a truth
That we’re all too good for it.
A cleaning job doesn’t pay well.
It won’t support your family.
It won’t buy your groceries
Or pay your mortgage.
It’s like taking a glass of water out of the ocean
And thinking the change is noticeable.
As a millennial I’m ungrateful.
I’m ungrateful because I live in a world of technology
Of the future.
Of mobile phones,
I’m supposed to be in awe.
Instead I’m nearing thirty and living at home.
Because the cost of the internet was increased housing prices
And to have a computer I now have a worthless degree.
A degree that over qualifies me
For the blue-collar Joe work I look down
But under qualifies me
For anything else.
As a millennial,
When you apply for your first job
You better have two PhDs
Three year’s work experience
And clear schedule
To work any and all hours
The businesses demand.
Because life isn’t about fun,
It isn’t about family
It isn’t about friends
Or good times.
It’s about work.
You work to live
And you live to work.
You can have a family
But you don’t see them
Because you’re too busy working
To support them.
But don’t worry,
This isn’t everybody.
The people that face every day
Being called ungrateful
For being brought into a world
So twisted and demented
That you have to work,
Until hanging yourself is a better option,
Just to afford food for the week.
A world that criticises everything you do
Just because of when you were born.
A world where your job
And future prospects
Because your parents were selfish enough
To have you.
This poem has two titles; “Approximately” or “Loneliness In A Mathematical Approximation”